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Nah, it’s completely fair, and I’ll tell you why, alright? Dating black girls is really a plus because you don’t have to worry about meeting their fathers. I’m outdoorsy in the sense that I like to get drunk on patios. I just want a guy to buy me flowers, send me a million cute texts an call me mine, I’ll make you food so wife me up. Just be John Cusack outside my window with a boombox. After going out for four years you decide to propose. My nickname is Gillette because I’m the best a man can get. I hate playing head games unless they involve the mouth. Which means I know how to ride a di** but I’m still not sure how taxes work. I work at subway so I’m pretty much an expert on 6 inches and I make some damn good sandwiches. I’ve learnt that men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny… Gag reflex as absent as my father figure I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him if he’s going to eat the rest of that pizza. Mainly because you love me but also because I believe in no sex before marriage and curiosity is killing you. Looking for a man to cum inside me so I can wipe my goopy vagina along the kitchen floor and pretend I am a slug. If I see you without an erection, I’ll make you a sandwich. Lonely vagina seeks penis to be friends with and maybe more Voted most likely to steal your man. About me: Let me bitch at you every day until you sort your shit out. We get married and on our wedding night we’re about to get down and dirt when suddenly I pull up my dress and expose my penis. If you can’t handle me at my worst I really commend and respect you for setting healthy boundaries for yourself. Skills include: giving head and completing entire games of Civ V.#dicknotdevotion What similarities are there between a 9v battery and my a**hole? You know you shouldn’t lick it, but you do it anyways. Kinda girl you would take home to your mom but would blow you on the way there. On our first date I will carve our initials into a tree. I offer to go to the movies but you are tired/have to do laundry. Our relationship should be like Nintendo 64–classic, fun to spend hours with, and every issue easily fixed by blowing on it then shoving it back in. I’m not good at taking off bras so don’t worry, I won’t ask you for casual sex. I’m just here for sex from a white boy with mommy issues. But if you swipe right, I will match with you, I will flirt with you and I will fu*k you. Two things I don’t fuck with: rattlesnakes and condoms. Hobbies: I’ll treat you like a Disney princess on the streets and a porn princess between the sheets. This was my GO-TO GUIDE – with this list I didn’t even have to think of what Opener I should use, or what to say to get a girls number… For a limited time I’ve decided to share my own private Tinder opener cheat sheet so you can have the same success – for free! I’m actually looking for the one girl that dislikes to laugh and hates good music. If I ever find myself face to face with a tider then I’m likely in trouble so drop the camera and GET HELP! You only get three great women in your life, my mom and grandma are two… I’ll sexually disappoint you but it’ll be a journey for both of us. Click Here to Download Your FREE Cheat-Sheet I’m all of like two feet tall. If you’re wondering why I’m so funny, it’s because I used to be fat. And I’ve already failed all my exams sooooo You can use me to get to my mom. You only get three great women in your life, my mom and grandma are two, you’ll be the third. It’s like sex in space with meteors and satellites dancing past us as time stands still.
Carefully written, fact-checked essay in the streets, unmoderated comments section in the sheets. If you don’t do that, you’re just going to be ignored and rejected. Shirtless gym selfies, cut-off tee gym selfies, pull-my-shirt-up gym selfies, mid-workout gym selfies. Married, couple of kids, looking for some side action. If you want to break through the Tinder jungle and have flirty Tinder conversations, you need some serious firepower.I’ll have your friends hating me while I control every aspect of your life. NYC editor who gets drunk and takes pictures a lot. If you can eat more Mc Donald’s cheeseburgers than me then I’ll suck your d*ck I have a pretty great rack Half-Filipino, Half-German, Physics major. I’m super in shape thanks to my strict diet of Mountain Dew and twizzlers. When She’s walking home wards the monastery she thinks about how this is possible as she’s never had sex. After I drink coffee I like to show the empty mug to the IT guy to tell him that I’ve successfully installed Java. I like laughing, dogs, lots of food, beer, outdoor activities, and adventures. Based on the moments that I get, there seems to be a lot girls on here who know everything about love and relationships… When she arrives home she figures it out, goes next door, to the monastery where the monks live, opens the door interrupting the monks at dinner and shouts: “Alright, which one of you bastards has been wanking off on the church candle? I read as many pages as I could after work, long into the night, and finally finished reading the thread after one whole week. I want to do adult things with you…*whispers* taxes*panting softly* pay the mortgage*moans* make sure we turned off all the lights, our electricity bill was 300 f*cking dollars this month Just doing this because my boyfriend did. a girl in 1912 has her naked body drawn in a sketchbook by a random dude that no one’s ever heard of, locks the drawing in a safe on a boat, the BOAT SINKS, and her nude picture STILL ends upon television 84 years later. Looking for someone to bring to family events so they’ll stop thinking something’s wrong with me I’m here to avoid friends on Facebook. I am a little freaky at times…but no one has stepped up to the plate to explore that side of me. Just as if I was preparing for an exam, I wrote succinct notes on every great line or piece of advice in those thousands of posts ,which then became my Tinder cheat-sheet. Above average brains, below average height, pretty average penis.
Spitters are quitters Let’s have a who’s better in bed contest. Literally just want a shag, why else would I have tinder and my first picture be me in a bikini I’ve got fake tits and a fake personality. Don’t ask me to “send some pics.” Take me out on a date, buy me some food, and try to get me naked at the end like a f*cking gentleman.500 characters isn’t really enough to demonstrate my wit and intelligence so just look at my banging cleavage for now. But if you can’t think of anything to write, a unique photo to help spark conversation can also have the same effect.